I built Zen+ Health because I needed it first

Leading a team of ten developers from home. Continuous improvement. Coach people towards better. Remove blockers. Give credit. Remote work meant more meetings, more responsibility. I took it all on. What I didn't notice was how quietly the pressure was building.

Asked to drive a big organisational change. The kind that arrives in a slide deck. My instinct has always been gradual change, bring people with you. This felt different. Stress built. I paced. Slept badly. Mouth full of ulcers (my stress party trick). Anxiety edged towards attacks. One day, too wound up to sit at my desk, I joined a Zoom from my sofa. Something snapped. "I'm not the right person for this job." My stomach dropped. Had I just thrown away my career?

Nothing dramatic happened on the call. But inside, everything shifted. I got on with it. Implemented the change, shielded my team. Competent on the surface. Carrying it alone underneath.

Still pushing through stress. A thought nagging. There must be a better way to spot stress early. Started a research application for what would become Zen+ Health. Then I found a lump.

Testicular cancer diagnosis in November 2023. Orchidectomy in December. By January it had spread to my lungs, Stage 3A. Chemotherapy from January to April with complications and hospital stays. Life went from busy engineering leader to patient.

Chemo fog was real. Brain slower, memory patchy, energy unpredictable. But small moments cut through. A thoughtful gift from colleagues reminded me I'd had more impact than I'd allowed myself to believe. At night, music calmed my mind enough to sleep. During the day, the odd meditation. But nothing watched my stress in the background. Nothing joined the dots between energy, calendar, mood, habits.

Started with two half days a week back at work. Felt pointless at first. Like being dropped into my own life as a guest. Body slower, brain catching up. As hours increased, old patterns returned. More meetings, more stress. This time I could see it clearly.

I had a different perspective on work and life. But the system remained unchanged. I didn't just want to fix myself. I wanted to stop myself getting that overwhelmed in the first place.

During early recovery, I had enforced slowness. Free time. Patchy energy but unchanged desire to build. I've always built things for myself first. Started crude proof of concept. Chemo fog vs daytime television. One had to go. I kept the fog, switched off the TV. AI technology accelerated while I was away. Suddenly an assistant that learns patterns and responds in real time looked feasible.

Registered Zen+ Health. Left my role. Committed full time.